One Lecture and Six Times the Dino Rangers Encountered Groupies
by Mara Greengrass
Summary: 'Nuff said.


"Guys, there's something we need to talk about," Tommy said, trying to look unruffled as he sat down at the table and faced the brand new Dino Rangers.

"Is this another lecture on the responsibilities of power? I think we've got that," Conner said.

"No, but thanks for reminding me to talk about that further another day." (Ethan smacked Conner.) "I wanted to talk you about..." Despite his best efforts, Tommy could feel himself blushing. "...fans."

The kids looked at each other, appearing baffled.

"It's a problem every team has faced. After the team gets established, people start to...follow them."

"Like, taking pictures and things," Ethan said. "Sure, I've seen some of those online. A couple teams nearly got unmasked because they weren't paying attention."

"If you're worried about Cassidy-" Kira said.

"That's not what I mean. Of course we need to watch out for cameras, but I mean people who don't run away from the monster. They run toward the fight in order to get, um, close to the Rangers."

The light bulb seemed to go off for all of them at the same time: Kira looked disgusted, Ethan looked amused, and Conner looked intrigued.

"Seriously, dude," Conner said. "Just how many groupies _did_ you bang when you were in high school?"

Kira smacked his arm hard enough to make him wince.

"First," Tommy said, "don't call me dude. Second, the answer is-"

Ethan yelped and covered his ears. "I don't want to know!"

Tommy frowned at him. "The answer is none. It wouldn't have been right then and it still isn't right now."

* * *

Lifting beams up for rescuers wasn't always the most exciting task, Trent thought, but it was pretty darn satisfying. Sure, you had to pick up a hundred beams, but when that hundredth beam turned out to have a small adorable girl carrying a teddy bear behind it...yeah, it was worth it.

And then the girl's family came rushing up and there was cheering and clapping and Trent was basically feeling pretty good about himself as he dusted off the legs of his uniform and wished he'd been a more practical color.

"Hey there," a voice said.

Trent tilted his head up to see who was talking to him and almost fell on his ass when he found his helmet nearly colliding with breasts. He managed to turn his reaction into an almost graceful step backward, grateful for the helmet that kept his blush from showing. "Uh, hi," he said.

She was probably in her 20s, Trent thought. Although it was difficult to tell by looking at her face because so much of her body was showing that he was having trouble focusing. She stepped forward and he swallowed as her breasts bobbed up and down. "You're so brave," she said with a smile.

"Thank you. It was...um, nothing." He took another step backward.

She took two steps forward and plastered herself against him, moaning. Trent held his arms out to the sides to try and avoid touching her. "Er...what..." His face was burning with embarrassment and he was desperately trying to avoid thinking about any other portions of his body.

"There you are," Kira said, marching right up to him. "You're needed elsewhere." Without hesitation, she grabbed the woman's shoulders and peeled her off Trent, then dragged him away.

They broke into a jog as Trent whispered "Thank you."

"No problem," she said, her voice clearly showing her amusement. "So...I take it Dr. O forgot to warn you about this?"

"I was supposed to get a warning?" His voice came out almost falsetto. "That would have been nice."

"Sorry," Dr. O said through the communicator. "Things have been busy, after all."

"Anything else you forgot to mention?"

"I'll let you know."

"Please do."

* * *

Crawling a little way up the tilted beam, Kira peered down into the exposed sub-basement. "Anyone down there?" she called out. She tried to tune out the noises from around her. "Hayley," she said more softly. "What do you think?"

"The new heat sensors are buggy, but I think the area below you is clear."

Kira was concentrating so hard that she didn't realize anyone was nearby until she felt the hard smack on her ass.

Rolling off the beam onto the other side, she was on her feet before her assailant could move and in a fighting stance. Rather than one of Mesogog's dino monsters, she faced a grinning man, who looked pleased with himself.

"What the _hell_?" she said.

"Kira?" Hayley asked in her ear.

The man was still grinning. "That is a ifine/i ass, woman. I just had to get a piece of it."

Kira considered that statement for a total of one second before she leapt up on the beam and kicked the man in the head. He toppled over like a felled tree and she dusted her hands.

"Kira?" Dr. O chimed in. "Is there a problem?"

"Not anymore." Humming a happy tune, she moved on to the next wreck.

* * *

"Dude." Ethan generally prided himself on having a better vocabulary than Conner, but seriously, who could blame him right now? "Dude. Seriously."

"Ethan?" Kira asked.

"You are _not_ going to believe what I'm seeing."

"Unless it's Mesogog giving himself up for arrest, I really don't think I care right now," Kira said.

"I don't know...would Ms. Epstein in a skimpy tank top working her way toward me be enough to get your attention?"

"...the fuck?" Conner said.

"Language, Conner," Dr. O said automatically. "And Ethan, please tell me you're joking."

"I wish I were. She's almost here."

He froze as she sidled up to him. And asked "Is that a dinosaur in your pocket or are you happy to see me?"

"Uhsorrynicetomeetyougottagonow." Ethan decided discretion was the better part of valor and broke into an outright run in a random direction until he was far enough away to hide behind a still-standing building.

"Oh god," he said, closing his eyes. "My math teacher was flirting with me. Badly. I need some brain bleach. And a scrub brush. A really big scrub brush."

"You and me both," Dr. O said, sounding dazed.

* * *

Conner glimpsed the guy out of the corner of his eye first. High school age, probably, sidling his way toward Conner. His hands were tucked in his pockets and he was trying to look unobtrusive but he was in the middle of a disaster site, so really...

"One of these things is not like the other," Conner sang under his breath.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan asked.

"Got an incoming groupie."

"Conner..." Dr. O said.

"I know, I know, no macking on the groupies, I got that. Not a problem here, though."

"What, she isn't hot enough for you?" Ethan asked.

"No, _he's_ not female enough for me."

The horrified silence on the comm coincided with the arrival of the young man, looking at Conner with shining eyes. "Hi."

"Hi," Conner said.

"Um," the kid said. "I really wanted to meet you. You're...I mean, I don't know if you..." He stepped closer.

Conner tried to think like an adult. "Look, no offense, but you're a little young for me. I'm flattered, though."

"Oh." The kid was clearly startled, but not upset.

"Give it a few years and all the jocks will grow up and you'll find someone."

He smiled at Conner. "Thank you." And he ran off. Conner sighed in relief.

"Conner, that was..." Dr. O trailed off.

"Actually really well done," Kira said, sounding stunned.

"Seriously, guys," Conner said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a _total_ jerk."

"Just a partial one," Ethan said.

"Well, yeah."

* * *

Tommy cleared debris on autopilot. After all the years, he had the routine down pat: looking for survivors, helping the injured, shifting things too big or too dangerous for police and rescue personnel...

So he was actually working on a lesson plan for the following week's classes when he was approached.

"No!" a woman shouted.

Tommy turned in time to be hit by a flying projectile...or rather a small and very grubby brown-haired boy in an orange shirt with a highly inaccurate T. rex skeleton on it. He grabbed the boy automatically to keep him from falling over and knelt down. "Hey, buddy, it's not safe here. You'd better head back to your mommy."

The little boy looked straight at his helmet. "Brachiosaurus is my favorite dinosaur."

"I have the brachiosaurus zord," Tommy said, not quite sure where to go with the conversation.

"Then you're my favorite Ranger, because brachiosaurus is my favorite." The boy nodded, appearing happy to have resolved a dilemma.

"Uh, thank you?"

The woman who'd yelled, presumably his mother, skidded up behind him, out of breath. "I'm so sorry," she said in a rush. "He got away from me and I told him not to bother you, but-"

"It's okay," Tommy said, looking up at her. "He wanted to tell me his favorite dinosaur."

"You and the rest of the world," she said with a sigh.

He couldn't help grinning inside the helmet, then looked back at the boy. "It was very nice to meet you. Now you'd better go somewhere safer."

The boy nodded and took his mother's hand. "Bye bye, Black Ranger." He waved with his free hand and Tommy automatically waved back.

Okay, he istill/i didn't think he'd ever be ready for kids...but they could be kind of adorable.

"Awww, Dr. O's got a fan too," Conner said through the communicator. "He's too young for you, though."

"Cut it out," Tommy said with a sigh.

"You're just frustrated bec-"

"Conner McKnight!" Kira and Hayley yelled in unison. Hayley went on, "If you finish that sentence, I swear I'll make sure you never play soccer again."

"Uh, never mind."

Tommy rolled his eyes and went back to clearing debris.

* * *

The woman lying beside him in bed was curled up with laughter as he recounted the last story.

"It's not funny," he said, throwing his arm over his eyes.

"Oh, c'mon, it was inevitable that they'd speculate about your sex life. You're the adult now."

"Isn't that a scary thought?"

"A little. But if you weren't an adult, I might feel guilty about doing this." Rolling over, she kissed him so thoroughly, he almost forgot what they were talking about. "But you need to stop worrying. These kids won't do anything naughty to the groupies."

"What about me?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, Tommy," Kat said, resting her chin on his chest. "I've always been your biggest fan."

-end-

Endnote: That little boy is my four-year-old son. I can guarantee if we encountered the Black Ranger in real life, that is precisely what he would say.


End file.
